Avast! Thar Be Critters!

So, TBL has gone a wee bit wacko with the Critter knitting. Here we see Captain Jack Critter, terror of the end table. To make Cap'n Jack a reality, TBL had to figure out how to knit him a tricorn. Uncharacteristically, she wrote it down as she went! So...the pattern.

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Critter Tricorn
(probably suitable for any toy with a roundish head)

When making this for a Critter, use the same weight of yarn and needle size as you used for the Critter. When making it for other toys, calculate gauge and act accordingly. TBL used Wool Ease Worsted on size 6 (4.00 mm) needles.

abbreviations: M1p - make one purlwise (check here for a simple tutorial)

CO 6 st, join in round.

1. KFB around -- 12 st
2. (KFB, K1) around -- 18 st
3. (KFB, K2) around -- 24 st
4. K around
5. (KFB, K3) around -- 30 st
6. K around
7. (KFB, K4) around -- 36 st
8. K around
9. (KFB, K5) around -- 42 st
10. K around
12-16: (K1, P1) around
17: K around
18: (P1, M1p, P7) around --54 st
19: (P1, M1p, P8) around --60 st
20: P around
21: (P1, M1p, P7) around --66 st
22: (P1, M1p, P8) around --72 st
23: P around
24: (P1, M1p, P7) around --78 st
25: (P1, M1p, P8) around --84 st
26: P around
27: (P1, M1p, P7) around --90 st
28: (P1, M1p, P8) around --96 st
29: P around
30: K around
31: P around
32: K around

Bind off purlwise. Weave in ends. Using short lengths of same yarn or matching thread, tack brim to crown at three equidistant points. Place on Critter. Terrify nearby Critters.

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Sunday Catblogging

Aaahhh....sunbeam.

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Hiatus

Good day, darling readers. TBL apologizes for her inattentiveness, entirely due to her being in the middle of not one but TWO Secret Projects, neither of which (alas) is blog-related. Initially TBL had planned to maintain the blog whilst Secret Project-ing, but you can all see how that worked out. TBL now plans to be back to more regular blogging in 2-3 weeks.

Perhaps, by then, our darling Twins will have done something fabulous for her to chortle over.

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An Open Letter to Nick Blackburn

Dear Nick,

My, that was a lovely start. Seven innings, five hits, one walk, one wild pitch, one run. TBL could hardly believe it was your first major-league start. Unfortunately, when they came to the plate your teammates resembled nothing so much as drugged emus.

Please allow this longtime Twins fan to offer you a piece of advice which, if followed, will help you to remain sane throughout your career as a Twins starter:

Get used to it.

Practically,

TBL

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1 of 162

Twins 3
Los Angeles Angels of Whose Brilliant Idea Was This Name Anyway in Anaheim 2

Ah, dear readers, last night's game deserves better than the little scrap of lunch break TBL has to give it, but such is life in the cubicle. And yea, the cubicle is necessary for the earning of the salary with which the tickets are purchased.

But it was indeed a very good game.

The Bubble was packed, the blizzard-proof roof was welcome, Baby Jesus got his first RBI before the team got its first out, Livan Hernandez was a pleasant surprise, none of the new Twins players lost a ball in the roof/lights (wait for it), Carlos Gomez broke the sound barrier twice, newly vegan Pat Neshek struck out the side, and Joltin' Joe Nathanated the Angels for the save and the win.

The sky did not fall without Johan Santana. The defense did not crumble without Torii Hunter. Though they will both no doubt be sorely missed as the euphoria of Opening Day gives way to the long grind of the season, this game was a lovely way to start.

Did you know...?

The Twins are the only team to open the season without any players on the disabled list.

Last but not least...

Purely on account of his jumbotron photo, TBL has dubbed new shortstop Adam Everett "Jughead".

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Glory Days Revisited: Outfield

Ah, what verdant stretches do our outfielders from the unforgettable years of 2002-2004 patrol now?

Brian "BOOM" Buchanan played for the Padres and Mets after being traded away from the Twins, then spent time with the St. Paul Saints and the Fukuoka SoftBank Hawks before recently signing a minor-league deal with the Royals.

Lew Ford refused an assignment to the minors at the end of the 2007 season and signed as a free agent with the Hanshin Tigers in Japan. Here's hoping "Leeeeeeeew!" doesn't mean anything obscene in Japanese.

If the following is news to you, you need to emerge from the cave more often: Torii Hunter signed with the Angels for ninety million dollars in November. Zounds.

Jacque Jones, as you may recall, turned down an offer of arbitration from the Twins in 2005 and soon signed with the Cubs, where he performed fairly well through 2007 but had ongoing conflicts with management. He was traded to the Tigers in the offseason.

Bobby Kielty was traded to the Blue Jays in mid-2003 for Shannon Stewart (more on him anon). In the offseason, the Jays turned around and traded him to the A's for Ted Lilly. He performed poorly for the A's in 2004 but they stuck with him and were rewarded with both a solid 2005 and the presence of biggest Irish afro on earth in their dugout. He saw limited action in '06 and was released while on the disabled list in mid-2007. He signed on with the Red Sox shortly thereafter and went on to hit what turned out to be the game- and series-clinching home run in a pinch-hit appearance during game 4. They signed him to a 2008 contract in the offseason.

Traded to the Giants before the 2004 season, Dustan Mohr has proven hard to keep track of. He played well for the Giants that year but was not retained. He spent 2005 with the Rockies, where he saw limited action and hit poorly. He struggled as a fill-in player with the Red Sox in 2006 and was demoted to the minors and ended the season in AAA for the Tigers. In 2007 he played in a handful of games for the Devil Rays around midseason and was released. He has yet to sign with another team.

Minnesota-born Michael Restovich, claimed off waivers after spring training 2005 by the Devil Rays, was back on waivers within a week and claimed by the Rockies, who traded him to the Pirates that May. He was released at the end of the season, signed to a minor league contract by the Cubs, where he spent the 2006 season. He then signed on with the Nationals in the minor leagues, failed to make the club out of spring training, was called up in mid-April and hit himself back into AAA within weeks. He is currently playing for the Fukuoka SoftBank Hawks. Presumably he made it to Japan by using some small fraction of his frequent-flier miles.

Michael Ryan has not played in the major leagues since the end of his 2005 season with the Twins. He spent 2006 in AAA with the Braves and 2007 in AAA with the Phillies. He is now an unsigned free agent and does not appear to be in spring training with any organization.

Shannon Stewart played for the A's in 2006 and is currently in spring training with his old team, the Blue Jays.

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Glory Days Revisited: Infield

Today we discover whatever happened to those closest to the diamond in the Twins' glorious run of 2002-2004.

Catcher Henry Blanco (aka "Mango Face") moved on to the Cubs after his 2004 stint with the Twins, and is still there. He is such an excellent defensive catcher and game-caller that even the dubious distinction of having the lowest career batting average among active players with 1000+ at-bats cannot dent his career prospects or the affections of Cubs fans.

After a brief stint in the Brewers' minor league system, Pat Borders became the injury-riddled Mariners' main catcher for the first half of 2005. Seattle displayed its gratitude by designating him for assignment at the All-Star break. He signed a minor-league contract with the Dodgers in 2006 but failed to catch on with the big league club. He announced his retirement in May of that year.

Second baseman Jay Canizaro never returned to the majors after his 2002 stint with the Twins. He played one season in the Devil Rays minor leagues before leaving baseball.

Chris Gomez worked his utility-infielder magic with the Blue Jays in 2004, the Orioles from 2005 to mid-2007, and the Indians in the latter half of 2007. He is now with the Pirates. Arr!

After six seasons alternating brilliance and boneheadedness for the Twins, shortstop Christian Guzmán signed a huge four-year contract with the Nationals in 2005, where he has become a byword for disappointment. His 2005 season was nothing short of a disaster, 2006 was entirely lost to a shoulder injury and surgery, and 2007 consisted of brief periods of greatness bracketed by months of disabling injury. He is currently on the last year of his contract

Utility infielder Denny Hocking left the Twins after ten seasons and signed with the Rockies, whom he played for in 2004. In 2005 he played for the Royals. He is now retired and has been doing radio work with Fox Sports.

Ah, Corey Koskie. TBL's all-time favorite player. Brooks Robinson reincarnate in the field. How TBL misses thee. Corey signed with the Blue Jays for the 2005 season but was plagued by injury and did not play much. He was traded to the Brewers and was doing fairly well until suffering a concussion in early July, 2006. Post-concussion syndrome kept him off the field through 2007 and the expiration of his contract. He has not signed with another team.

When the Twins declined to offer a contract after the 2005 season, Matt LeCroy caught on with the Washington Nationals. A less-likely candidate to play in the National League TBL has never seen; the man was born to DH. Catching a game in 2006 due to injuries to both of the team's catchers and despite known bone spurs in his throwing-side knee, he allowed six stolen bases and was lifted in the seventh in favor of a first baseman. The Nationals manager was literally reduced to tears when speaking of it later, defending his decision and LeCroy's abilities. He would spend the second half of the season in the minors and refuse an offer to manage one of their minor-league teams to continue his playing career through a minor-league contract with the Twins. He saw major league action as a September callup, and signed a minor league deal with Oakland in the offseason. He was assigned to minor-league camp early in spring training and requested his release, which was granted. He is currently a free agent.

Doug Mientkiewicz (aka "Dougie Baseball", "Dougie Defense", "Eye Chart") was traded to the Red Sox in mid-2004 for Justin Jones (who promptly amounted to nothing), where he caught the final out in Boston's World Series win and was the subject of controversy for keeping the ball, which has since been given to the Hall of Fame. He then played for the Mets, Royals and Bankees in quick succession. He is in spring training with the Pirates under a minor league contract.

2004 Twins DH/pinch-hitter and very occasional right-side-of-the-infielder Jose Offerman saw limited action with the Mets and Phillies in 2005 before embarking on a second career in the independent leagues.

AJ Pierzynski, after spending only one year with the team that traded Joe Nathan, Boof Bonser and Franciso Liriano to get him (pardon TBL while she chortles...), settled in as the White Sox's everyday catcher and continues to piss people off across the league. He has also made occasional offseason appearances since 2005 with a fringe wrestling outfit called Total NonStop Action.

Catcher Tom Prince retired in 2003 after a brief stint with the Royals. He is currently the manager of the rookie-league GCL Pirates in Bradenton, FL.

The Twins let free-swinging second baseman Luis Rivas drive them crazy for six seasons. The Cleveland Indians put up with it for four games. He spent 2006 in the minor leagues with Tampa Bay, caught on with the Indians, played his four games, got busted back to AAA and is now with the Pirates on a minor-league contract. (Is it just TBL, or are the Pirates grabbing up an awful lot of the Twins' former infielders for this year's spring training roster?)

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