Missing: Sunshine and Suckitude

Early in the evening in Minneapolis, the April weather went missing. In its place we found November weather. The former is notable for sunshine, cool evenings and warm afternoons. The latter is known for damp chill with scattered snow showers.

A reward is being offered for the return of the April weather, which was last seen being herded southward by a Canadian front. Everyone misses it.

Later that same evening, in the seventh inning in Kansas City, the April Twins went missing. In their place we found the August Twins. The former are notable for their erratic pitching and craptacular "hitting". The latter are known for dancing on the graves of their fallen foes.

No reward will be offered for the return of the April Twins, who were last seen striking out on a changeup in the dirt. Only the White Wind Sox miss them.