"Let us go forth a while, and get better air in our lungs. Let us leave our closed rooms...
The game of ball is glorious."

--Walt Whitman

Saturday, March 12, 2005

You Can Never Have Too Many Pirates

Yay, new nephew!

Well, actually, I'm an only child (can you tell?), so I claim my girlfriends' kids as nieces and nephews. All nephews, so far. Skiing Pirate, I'm relying on you to change that, okay? Anyhow, back to the point.

The crew of the Bloodwake has another member in the person of young Corbin "Cutthroat" Carlson (nickname subject to change without notice), who signed up during the breakfast hour this morning. He has been provisionally assigned the title and job of "Able Pirate", but I still think we need a cabin boy.

Read More

Friday, March 11, 2005

Friday Afternoon Miscellany

Today's strip in the Dilbert-a-Day calendar is about estimating time to completion for a project. It went like so:

Dilbert: "In a perfect world the project would take eight months. But based on past projects in this company, I applied a 1.5 incompetence multiplier. And then I applied an LWF of 6.3."
Pointy-Haired Boss: "LWF?"
Alice: "Lying Weasel Factor."
I thought, "Hey, that's MY project!"

First baseman Justin Morneau, after battling appendicitis (October), chicken pox (January), pleurisy and pneumonia (February) this offseason, now has to have minor surgery to remove a cyst which has developed at the site of his appendectomy incision. What's next, scurvy? Arrrr!

In other news, the Twins lost to the Tampa Bay Devil Rays 2-3 in exhibition action this afternoon. Apparently Santana pitched three scoreless innings, but since the game wasn't broadcast (@#*%!) I have no further detail to offer.

I just looked out the window, and the snow is falling sideways. Brrr.

Read More

Thursday, March 10, 2005

The Joy of Spring Training Stats

Okay, so spring training numbers don't mean a thing, especially this early. But I love 'em. Why? It's like a weird alternate universe. Where else will you see futility infielders batting .600 while ace pitchers sport ERAs in the double digits? I like to look at spring training numbers and imagine what it would be like if they held through the regular season. Check out this starting lineup:


PlayerPositionOrderBA
StewartDH1.375
MauerC2.000
HunterCF3.750
Morneau1B4.625
FordLF5.438
JonesRF6.429
Cuddyer3B7.333
BartlettSS8.538
Rivas2B9.417


Aside from Mauer getting run out of town on a rail by August, that looks pretty good, doesn't it? Throw in five starting pitchers with ERAs under 2.00 and hello, championship!

Hey, I can dream.

Read More

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Steroids and Other Special Treatments

Jim Litke has a really funny preview of the upcoming Congressional testimony on steroids in baseball. I'm sure the actual transcript won't be much different...

Speaking of steroids, the Giants have submitted a request to the commissioner's office that Barry Bonds be allowed to DH in spring training games against other National League teams. This so Bonds can be "eased into the exhibition season" after offseason knee surgery.

No. Correction: hell, no.

If he's not ready to play under the rules of his league, then put him on a rehab program. We do not change the rules for marquee players of suspicious size. We do not change the rules for anyone or anything save the betterment of the game as a whole.

Of course, the request will be granted. Commissioner Bud Selig has already set a (bad) precedent by granting a similar request to the Cincinnati Reds on behalf of the oft-injured Ken Griffey, Jr. I'm furious, but unsurprised.

When we first heard the story about Bonds, without knowing about the previously-approved Griffey petition, my husband opined that surely Selig would refuse this request for blatant favoritism.

My reply: "When was the last time Selig did what was right for the game of baseball?"

Looks like I nailed that one, huh?

Read More

Monday, March 07, 2005

Last Out

Do you remember the last time it was 78 in Minneapolis? I don't. I assume it was in September. Maybe October. Too damn long ago, either way. What was it this afternoon--30? Also, there's no baseball in Minneapolis. There won't be for a month. So remind me--why am I waking up at the crack of hell tomorrow morning to board a plane that will take me away from sunny, basebally Fort Myers and drop me in the arctic tundra with no baseball save the three to five plays a game John Gordon deigns to call between longwinded stories about things I have zero interest in? Being homeless and unemployed in Florida sounds pretty darn good at the moment, I tell you.

Ah, but you didn't check in to hear me bitch. Well, the Skiing Pirate might have; you never can tell with those hypothermic buccaneers. But most of you are looking for baseball, I'm sure. So on to the game report, posthaste.

It got off to a less than promising start, as Luis "Base or Bench?" Rivas over-threw a standard putout throw to first, allowing the first batter to become a runner. Fortunately, Carlos "King Groundball" Silva was on the mound and up to the challenge, keeping the infielders on their toes and the Devil Rays off the bases. Only one flaw marred his outing: sometime during the offseason, he forgot how to wear his socks. If any of you happen to be in Fort Myers in the next couple of weeks and run into him, remind him that the pants should meet the socks just below the knees. Not at the ankles, Carlos--you know this!

In the second inning, Bert Blyleven and his butterfly net managed to snare not one but two foul popups, thereby successfully handling more balls that inning than the entire Devil Rays defense.

Potential backup catcher Corky "Too New for a Nickname" Miller showed off his arm , firing a bullet to second and catching a runner who had one heck of a lead in his favor. Jason "Look at Me!" Bartlett continued to field well and shot a sweeeeeet double to left in his second at-bat. The Twins as a whole were pretty double-happy today, hitting four in the first six innings, after which the Devil Rays realized that they had brought some pitchers after all and let the utility infielders get off the mound.

Matt "I Can Start, Really" Guerrier bucked up and gave us three very good innings, with four strikeouts. Highly-touted prospect Francisco "Whoops" Liriano, on the other hand, let the first and only D-Rays run of the game score from second on two wild pitches in the ninth. Eric "At Least I'm Not in Detroit" Munson shortly thereafter saved Liriano's bacon with a beautiful play on a weird bouncer that could easily have turned into a hit. The Twins wrapped up the 5-1 win moments later.

And then, alas and alack, we bid farewell to the benevolent splendor of Hammond Stadium. We were somewhat cheered when we managed to get a metric ton of autographs on our way out, including Torii Hunter and Shannon Stewart. If you take me with you, I'll show you where!

Please. Take me with you.

No?

Oh, well. At least I'll always have the pictures...

Read More

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Baseball Odyssey

For someone utterly un-used to being in any sort of motor vehicle for more than half an hour at a stretch, a two-hour drive is an arduous thing, especially twice in one day. And even more particularly when, by some strange twist of nature, one's right ear is exposed to constant, unavoidable and unfiltered sunshine both ways. (One's right ear is now approximately the color of the "Twins" script emblazoned upon one's jersey, thanks for asking.)

Interstate 75 wanders along the west coast of Florida through vast swaths of palm and cypress which occasionally part momentarily to reveal a fleeting glimpse of an RV dealership or an isolated trailer park. According to MapQuest, it is the fastest way to get from Fort Myers to Bradenton, spring home of the Pittsburgh Pirates. The speed limit is 70, unless you're driving a Corvette, in which case it seems to be around 140. We and our rented Dodge Neon arrived in Bradenton, sans speeding ticket, in two hours and forked over the munificent sum of five dollars for the privilege of parking in front of the smallest auto repair shop on earth, two blocks from McKechnie Field.

If I hadn't been at Hammond Stadium already, McKechnie would have been much more impressive. It is the pearl to Hammond's jewel--a thing of beauty in its own right, but less sparkling. The facade is simple yet elegant, the field well-groomed and inviting, the low outfield wall ringed with palm trees. We were seated four rows up from the field close behind third base. Unlike the Dome, the box seats aren't raised above the field but begin at field level and slope gently upward from there.

The game itself was a delight. The Twins treated us to a perfect mixture of current, potentially current, and future players. Highly-regarded righthanded pitching prospect Scott Baker, a mere two years from his draft date and a 2004 veteran of high-A, AA and AAA assignments, took the mound for the Twins. His task for his two innings of play was, I believe, to practice grooving the ball in on the batters. Word of advice, Scott--just a titch less inside, 'k? You didn't hit anybody, but wow, did you get a load of the reflexes on those first-inning batters?

Boof Bonser followed Baker to the mound, giving a scoreless but unremarkable performance. Dave Gassner then pitched two impressive innings, working quickly, mixing pitches and getting outs. Yay, applied fundamentals! If this is how he usually performs (and his 2004 stats indicate that's a distinct possibility), I can see him being near or at the top of the list should someone in Minnesota fall to injury. Late in the game Scott Tyler came in and surrendered the first Pirates run on a long homer to right. But hey, this is a single-A player, and it was a solo homer. Willie Eyre (who, like Rivas, Ryan, Balfour, Bartlett and Silva, knows how a baseball player should set up his socks vis-a-vis his pants) emerged to wrap up the game for the Twins, coughing up another solo homer to right but, that one pitch aside, looking pretty darn good.

The position players went on a bit of a hitting spree, at least compared to their first two games. Toward this end, the Pirates pitching and defense were obligingly erratic. Mike "Lumpy" Ryan was seeing the ball well, waiting on his pitch and swinging smoothly. Joe Mauer remains the most patient hitter these weary eyes have ever beheld. Jacque Jones showed more patience than was his wont last season, which admittedly isn't saying a whole lot, but is still encouraging. Lew Ford continues to drill himself into the ground whenever he errs in thinking that he's got a fastball in his sights.

The fielders were in midseason form, plucking line drives out of thin air and pouncing on hot grounders with reckless abandon. Cuddyer, miracle of miracles, made not one but two nifty plays and didn't air-mail a single ball to his dear friends, the first-base-side fans. Good show, Mikey! Now keep doing that, and I may eventually forgive you for the last three years. Later in the game, he came on with two runners in scoring position and two outs, and I promised that I would take back every nasty thing I'd said about him in the last week--a full seven days of bad-mouthing!--if he'd just get a hit right now. He lofted a desultory popout to shallow second.

The star of the whole show, in my vaguely humble opinon, was Jason Bartlett. He was composed at the plate, recording two hits and reminding us all that Guzman isn't the only shortstop around who can break the sound barrier on his way to first. But we all knew he could hit, we all knew he was fast. His fielding, footwork and positioning in particular, has been the wall between him and a major-league career. In this game he was nearly flawless. He showed range and good judgement, positioning himself well and reacting correctly to plays that happened too fast to allow for deliberation. And if he still struggles somewhat with a tendency to over-throw, his worst lob was still within reasonable stretching distance for the first baseman, and no outs were ever in jeopardy. In sum, he looked like a major-league shortstop, though he was far from it mere months ago. But he, like Cuddyer, will need to repeat performances like this many times over before we truly believe.

The drive tomorrow is far too long, so we're sticking close to Fort Myers, seeing the sights and taking in a minor-league hockey game. Baseball reporting will resume in response to Monday's game at Hammond Stadium versus the Devil Rays, the morning after which I will be dragged kicking and screaming from my tropical paradise onto a plane bound for Minne-snow-ta. Sigh.

Oh, and if you ever get the chance to eat pineapple sorbet while watching baseball on a sunny day just shy of being too warm, do take it. It's divine.

Look! Photos!

Read More

Saturday, March 05, 2005

The Arrival and the Reunion

We flew through the teeth-rattling turbulence of a spring storm into Fort Myers, Florida, early Thursday evening. You know you're on vacation when you see palm trees, even if you are lugging a suitcase toward the rental car shuttle bus at the time. Being able to walk around without a coat was worth every second of attempting to keep the plane airborne through sheer willpower, though. Not that I'm a nervous flyer or anything...

Friday morning dawned cloudy but rapidly cleared, and we donned our rube gear and zipped across town to the Twins spring training facility. The facade of Hammond Stadium is simply gorgeous, cool and airy and graced with an elaborate waterfall of a fountain. Morning drills were already underway on a field next to the stadium when we arrived. We hung out around the fences for about half an hour, soaking up sunshine and baseball, picking familiar faces out of the clumps of players on the field and loitering by the batting cage. Finally hearing a real bat hit a real ball after the long drought of a winter without even the lesser distraction of hockey was practially a religious experience. I felt like I'd been holding my breath since October and had suddenly been given oxygen.

The crowds in the gift shop were insane. Of course I was tempted to buy (at least) one of everything, but escaped with only two shirts, a hat and some souvenirs for friends and family. However, I refuse to promise that I won't go back! Can you have too much Twins gear? I don't think so.

As gametime approached, we braved an immense line for the privilege of consuming quite possibly the best brats (flame-grilled, no less) on earth. Diet? What diet? Food in Florida has no calories. Having escaped from the line with our precious kraut-topped cargo, we entered the stadium proper. The inside more than matched the outside. There isn't a vast amount of seating, but the aisles are wide and the steps shallow. The field is perfectly groomed, the grass lush and thick, the diamond set in precise angles and arcs, white chalk lines stark against the russet clay. It's sad when your single-A team has a better field than your major league club, but there you have it. Our boys should play on a field like this all year.

Corey Koskie did not start, or play at all, for the Blue Jays. A murmur of disappointment rippled through the stands when another player was announced as the visitors' third baseman; it seems I wasn't the only broken-hearted Koskie devotee hoping to see him.

Joe Mays started for the Twins, and he did okay. He had some trouble locating the strike zone, a problem fortunately shared by many of the batters he faced. He'll have to be much better come April, but it wasn't anywhere near as bad as it could have been after what amounts to a year and a half out of the game. JC Romero, on the other hand, seemed to know exactly where the strike zone was. Why he decided to avoid it entirely, only he knows. He walked four, followed by two hits, allowing 4 runs in one inning of work. Ouch. Joe Nathan later strode to the mound to mow down two innings' worth of hapless Jays, and Matt Guerrier gave a fair performance over two innings of his own. CJ Nitkowski, wearing Koskie's #47, finished out the game for the Twins and took a strong early lead in the race to win the Kenny Rogers Human Rain Delay Cup.

Behind the pitchers, the defense looked good. No fielding blunders, official or otherwise, were committed, and (hallelujiah!) Cudderror's four innings in the field passed without a fielding chance at third. Will we be so lucky in the regular season? Providing additional entertainment for the attentive fan, color commentator Bert Blyleven was spotted leaning out of an unused press box trying to catch balls bouncing off the protective netting over the center sections of the stands with a butterfly net. No, he didn't actually get one. Yet.

On the hitting side of things the Twins, well, weren't doing a whole lot of hitting. Joe Mauer was his usual patient self, a newly-slender Rivas hit a double, and Lew Ford also looked very good, especially when he smacked a triple to right. The rest of the boys appeared rusty, by and large. They lost 5-2, but they did it outside under a clear blue sky in heavenly seventy-degree weather. Forgive me if I fail to weep over this defeat; I've decided that there's nothing better than baking my pasty white Minnesota-winter flesh under the Florida sun, watching a parade of present and future Twins play on an argyle-mowed real grass field.

Today we're heading up the coast to Bradenton to deepen our sunburns as a split squad of Twins visit the Pirates. It should be a minor-league-heavy game, as the Twins' big guns will no doubt be staying in Fort Myers to play the Red Sox.

I've posted some pictures from yesterday's adventure here. Enjoy!

Read More