Recap

I confess, I've been watching the last few games with one eye on the laptop, so the finer points of the games eluded me. There were some not-so-fine points that were a good deal of fun, though.

Friday 5/6, Twins 7 @ Devil Rays 1
Santana threw a complete game, seven strikeouts, no walks, 92 pitches.
The M&M Boys (Mauer & Morneau) go boom: Mauer for 3 in the 3rd, Morneau for 2 in the 5th.

Saturday 5/7, Twins 8 @ Devil Rays 1
Lohse squeaked through 5 innings. Didn't have his best stuff, but held on and showed some much-needed composure.
Morneau go boom again for 3 in the 6th.

Sunday 5/8, Twins 9 @ Devil Rays 6
Mays looked great until the seventh, when he coughed up four runs and got yanked.
LeCroy go boom for 3 in the 6th.
Mauer go boom all by his lonesome in the 9th.
Morneau a homer shy of the cycle (Why didn't you go boom, Justin? WHY???)

Monday 5/9, Twins 0 @ Orioles 3
Nobody went boom. Nobody even went bam. Some days I think these guys are so overwhelmed with love for Santana that they want every starter in the AL to look like him. This was one of those days.

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Gardenblogging

I grew up in the country, where the gardening is easy. Except for the family dogs' instinct to dig, of course. And the baking Texas sun. And the occasional water shortages. Hmm. Okay, not so easy.

Urban gardening presents its own challenges. Water is plentiful up here in Minnesota, and the summer weather is more congenial than in the deep south. And we don't have a dog. The primary factor is space. Get creative--if it'll hold soil, pop a plant in there!


Terracing adds space and interest


Decide what kind of layout you want before you go to the garden store, so you don't end up with more plants than you have room for. Leave room for young plants to grow!


Hanging baskets use space otherwise wasted on air.


S-hooks turn windowboxes into fence boxes. We're going to plant more in these, once we find out whether the cedar chips really do keep squirrels away.


Herbs grow well with minimal attention, and fresh herbs are great for cooking and grilling. The more sun, the better.


The potholders on the fence will be playing host to some basil, thyme and oregano I'm sprouting from seeds indoors.


Waiting for tomatoes. Vegetables really don't take a lot of space. We've had great success growing them around and between existing bushes and daylilies.


One lone dill plant one summer turns into hundreds of dill seedlings the next. Reserve your space accordingly! Dill is utterly impervious to the Minnesota winter, and will sprout as soon as the last snow melts.


Catnip, like dill, would probably survive a nuclear strike, much less a winter. This one is in its third year, throwing out new leaves before Easter without fail. You should see it in August. Planting catnip also allows you to get to know all your neighbors' kitties.


Urn! Don't you love that word?

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And On That Note...

Wow. Two complete games in a row. Anyone remember the three-game complete game shutout streak Radke, Santana and Lohse put up last year? And Lohse is going tomorrow night--hmmmm...

Anyway, I'm beat, but I'll leave you with this thought:

Johan Santana is ours, all ours, for four years.

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All the Game's a Stage

Weird tidbit of the day: the Twins scored five runs on five hits in the bottom of the fifth inning on the fifth day of the fifth month of the fifth year of this millennium (that's today).

The Twins won today's game 9-0, on the back of a heroic pitching performance by Brad "Will Pitch For Run Support" Radke and a spurt of hitting by the Twins lineup. So effectively did they dominate both the offensive and pitching sides of the game that the Indians were reduced to little more than props around which the true dramas of the game took place.

Under the Teflon Roof
a play in three acts

Act One
Setting: the Metrodome, top of the first inning. Brad Radke enters stage left. His teammates are arrayed around the field, a batter at the plate.

Radke (aside) - I've given this team ten years of my life, and do I get any run support in return? No. Well, I don't need any. From this day forward, I depend on no bat!

Radke retires three batters and exits stage left. CC Sabathia lumbers in stage right.

Sabathia: (snarls)

Twins batters quake and retire after posting a hit and a walk. Sabathia exits, Radke enters. Radke retires three in quick succession. Sabathia returns, collects two outs and then drills Twins catcher Mike Redmond in the elbow.

Redmond (walking to first base) - I'll get you for this, CC Sabathia!

Rivas - I've got your back, Redmond! Rivas hits a single.

Stewart - As do I! Stewart hits a single. The bases are loaded.

Bartlett - Oh, crap--am I up? Wait for me, guys! Bartlett flies out to center.

Sabathia exits, Radke enters. Behind him, the Twins in the field murmur fretfully amongst themselves about Sabathia's tendency to hit batters, especially when facing the Twins.

Radke (aside) - See what I have to put up with? Bases loaded--nothing. And now they're all scared just because Redmond's got a little bruise. Pansies.

Radke pitches another hitless inning. Sabathia follows with a scoreless inning of his own, though he allows a hit and a walk. In the next inning, Hunter misses a catch on a shallow fly ball, breaking up Radke's no-hitter, and then bobbles the ball so badly the hitter reaches third.
Radke - Dammit! Guys, I don't expect you to hit when I'm around, but you better field!

Twins (chorus) - Sorry, Brad!

Act Two
Setting: the Metrodome, bottom of the fifth inning, game tied 0-0. Rookie Jason Bartlett strolls to the plate, carrying his trusty bat. The Indians are on the field, Sabathia on the mound.

Sabathia - (snarls)

Bartlett - You know, CC, that was intimidating the first few times I faced you, but it's starting to seem a little silly. I don't believe I'm afraid of you anymore. Bartlett hits a homer.

Ford - Hey, man, don't look at my ribs like that! I'm still afraid of you! Ford grounds out to third.

LeCroy - I've been hit in the face. I can handle anything! LeCroy singles.

Hunter - I have to make things right with Brad! Hunter singles.

Tiffee - I'm in the big leagues! Tiffee singles.

Cuddyer - I'd rather get beaned than go back to the minors! Cuddyer walks, LeCroy scores.

Redmond - Now I shall have my revenge! Redmond singles, Hunter scores.

Rivas - I do not like sitting on the bench! I must make Gardy play me! Rivas walks, Tiffee scores.

Sabathia leaves the game. A relief pitcher enters.

Stewart - Must get Cuddyer home! Stewart grounds into a force out at second, Cuddyer scores.

Bartlett - That homer to left was cool. I wonder if I can hit one to center? The field's deeper there. Bartlett flies out to center. Guess not.

Radke returns to the mound.

Radke - Wow. Five runs. I don't...I don't know what to say, guys. Radke wipes away a tear. Thanks.


Act Three
Setting: the Metrodome, bottom of the seventh, Twins now lead 6-0. Jason Davis is pitching for the Indians. There are two outs, and Rivas is on first base. Stewart is batting.

Davis - I do not like these Twins. Especially when they are beating us. We thought this game was in the bag, what with Radke pitching. They weren't supposed to get any runs! But they changed the rules, like the sneaks they are.

Davis hits Stewart with a pitch.

Stewart (walking to first) - You wouldn't be so brave if this was the National League, punk!

Bartlett - I gotta hit this ball before it hits me! Bartlett singles.

Ford - I'm only afraid of Sabathia! Ford doubles, Stewart scores, Bartlett scores. Davis backs up the catcher on the play, and he and Stewart come face to face as Stewart scores.

Stewart - Listen, punk-- Stewart's voice is lost in the commotion as both dugouts empty. The umpires restore order quickly. The home plate umpire warns both dugouts. Gardy comes running back onto the field.

Gardy - You gotta be kidding me! Why are you warning us? We're the ones who keep getting beaned!

Home Plate Ump - Your player yelled at their pitcher.

Gardy - You'd yell too, if you got plinked by a major-league fastball! If you warn my team, my pitchers can't pitch inside! We're being penalized for something we didn't do, you ass-scratching baboon!

HPU - That's it--you're outta here!

Gardy - WHAT?! Gardy stalks over to home plate and kicks dirt over it. You have got the worst case of cranial rectitis it's ever been my misfortune to encounter!

HPU - GET OUT! GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!

Gardy - Oh, I'm leaving. But one of these days we'll both be here again. And when that day comes, my catchers won't be so quick to grab those foul tips that can come up and catch an ump under the chin.

Gardy stalks out. The game continues peacefully until the top of the ninth. Radke returns to the mound, and Redmond joins him there.

Redmond - What do you want to do here, Ace? You're looking at Peralta, Belliard and Crisp.

Radke - I'm thinking about beaning Peralta.

Redmond - Aw, man, you've got a complete game shutout going. Why would you blow it for that?

Radke - But, they hit you! Don't you want revenge? And they hit Stewie, and he had to come out of the game. I feel like I should defend you guys.

Redmond - Listen, Ace, I got my revenge with that RBI single. CC and me, we're even. And Stewart didn't leave the game 'cause he was hurt--he played up a little bitty bruise so he could get off the field and sneak into the Indians clubhouse while they're all out here. He's putting Nair in Davis's travel undies as we speak. It's all good.

Radke - So you guys won't mind if I just wrap this thing up?

Redmond - Mind? Ace, we insist.

Redmond claps Radke on the shoulder and trots off the mound. Fade to black

The End

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Around the Horn - May '05

Today we're taking a break from banned substances and difficulties beating beatable teams to play the inaugural round of "Around the Horn"! There are two ways to play Around the Horn--double-play style, which is what we're doing today, and strikeout style, which we'll try next time.

An around-the-horn double play in baseball goes as follows: the batter hits the ball to the third baseman, who throws it to the shortstop (or second baseman, but we're going with shortstop since Jason Bartlett is TBL's favorite position player and he's just so darn cute, what with being twelve years old and all) for the out, who throws it to the first baseman for the out at first. The ball then returns to the pitcher for the next at-bat.

Around the Horn goes much the same way, except we've got questions instead of balls. And one of these days I'm going to do an all-female round so that statement will take on a double meaning.

In this and future rounds of Around the Horn, TBL will be the pitcher. Each round will feature a guest infield, Twins fans who have proven their wit and knowledge on the battlefields of fan forums and Twins blogs.

Meet today's guest infield:

At third base, smoothly fielding any question no matter how hard-hit, Bubblemint of Batgirl's "Batling" fan community!

At shortstop, relaying answers with the ease of a well-oiled machine, Twins Junkie of TwinsJunkie.com!

And at first base, fearlessly defending her position, She-Ra of Batgirl's "Batling" fan community!

---

The pitch, the crack of the bat, and the play is on!

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TBL asks: What player from another team would you most like to see in a Twins uniform?

Bubblemint says: I have always wanted to see Jim Thome here with the Twins. A DH that's a big home run hitter, a veteran presence, and a good guy who seems like he'd fit really well on this team. Only problem is, he couldn't play first base, since we do have JustInCredible over there.

TwinsJunkie says: I always wished we could've landed Jim Thome. He pounded us with the Indians while we pounded no one. I want to know what it feels like to have a true power hitter in your lineup, that you think can crank one any time he comes to the plate.

She-Ra says: Corey Koskie. Does he count? Despite some early pessimism, I think the infield will alright without him, but his absence in the clubhouse has to be felt. Plus just think about an entire season of a healthy, chair-beating, power-hitting, walk-taking, clubhouse-pranking Koskie. It would be positively inspirational.

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TBL asks: Predict the AL Central Division standings at the All-Star break. Optional: include predictions of team win/loss records and/or other team statistics.

Bubblemint says:
1. Twins
2. White Sox (probably running neck and neck with us)
3. Cleveland (They really are better than they have shown us so far)
4. Tigers (Take THAT Dmitri Young)
5. Royals (I feel bad for the KC fans...they really got their hopes up last year, and were pushed back to earth very quickly.)

TwinsJunkie says: I'm not much for predictions but here you go:
Twins, White Sox, Indians, Tigers, Royals
I know what you are thinking: how bold of him to pick the standings EXACTLY as they finished last year. The Twins are looking too good right now not to be in first, and the White Sox looked pretty good when we met with them. I don't buy the hype with either the Indians or the Tigers, but because of the Detroit bullpen (or lack thereof) I think the Indians will slide into third. It's true what Dmitri Young says; the Indians and Tigers will be competing this year, but not as he envisioned.
P.S. The Royals flat out stink.

She-Ra says: Twins, White Sox, Cleveland, Detroit, KC.

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TBL asks:

or

?

Bubblemint says: High socks or no socks, that is the question.
I guess for me, it depends on the player. I always liked Dougie with his socks up...Rivas too, but when the whole team did it, it was odd for me. I suppose I could get used to it if they did it all the time, but for the most part I'd have to say no socks. I truly believe only certain players look good doing it.

TwinsJunkie says: Always felt like more of a traditionalist so I have a soft spot for knee-highs. When I played (until 7th grade) I always wore them even though the flies could bite right through them.

She-Ra says: Oh, the beauty of a graceful, well-developed calf muscle! Catchers and portly DHs are absolutely exempt.

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TBL asks: What one thing that the Twins haven't done the past three seasons would most improve their chances of getting to the World Series this year?

Bubblemint says: I'd like to see us spend a little money to get a big hitter. A really dependable DH.

TwinsJunkie says: To be honest, nothing THAT important. The fact is, we could've very well been in the world series last year; and I guess the biggest thing we do have is another year of playoff experience under our belts.

She-Ra says: This one's easy - beat the $%^#@!* Yankees!

---

Double play complete, the ball returns to the mound.

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Bubblemint asks: What's your take on the Sheffield vs. Boston fan incident the other day?
[editor's note: the questions were originally asked in mid-April, it just took a while to get all the responses together]

TBL says: At first I thought it was just stupid and rather disgraceful on both sides, but after seeing the replays it really seemed like the fan was just being a little dumb, trying to get a ball without checking to see if the fielder was coming after it. Sheffield should be used to grasping hands when he's fielding near the wall--he needs to control his temper. I'm sure it's very annoying when ball-hungry fans reach into the field of play, but frankly it's something every outfielder and corner infielder has to deal with at some parks. Get angry if you lose a play you could have made? Yes. Lash out physically? No.


TwinsJunkie asks: What is the funniest sports joke and/or heckle you've ever heard?

TBL says: My favorite heckle is one I'm finding plenty of occasion to use this season, now that I'm seated level with the first-base ump: "Hey, ump! Bend over and use your good eye!"

I can only think of one joke at the moment, but I do love mocking the ViQueens...
Q: How do you keep the Vikings out of your yard?
A: Erect a goalpost.


She-Ra asks: Why oh WHY is Corky Miller still on the roster instead of Terry Tiffee--and how long before they shake things up?

TBL says: Corky Miller is on the roster because someone (presumably Gardy and/or Terry Ryan) got it into their heads that Mauer is made of spun sugar, and that if his leg breaks off at the knee we couldn't possibly make do with only two backup catchers--yes, I'm counting LeCroy--for twelve hours while someone flew in from Rochester or New Britain.
The good news is they're increasing Mauer's catching duties on a more accelerated schedule than they were talking about during spring training. Back then they hadn't anticipated having him catch more than three games in a row until closer to mid-season, and he's already done four a couple of times with no apparent difficulties.
I think they're still going to be overly cautious about making roster moves, but I wouldn't be surprised to see a trade involving Miller or LeCroy next month if some other team offers it to Ryan. Unless such a trade opportunity does arise, though, I don't envision them paring down to three catchers until right around the All-Star Break.
Free Terry Tiffee!

---

Thus endeth the inning. Many thanks to Bubblemint, Twins Junkie and She-Ra for playing! And thanks for reading, everyone!

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The Rincón Question

"It was like hearing that my church had sold out."

--Babe Ruth, on the Black Sox scandal

I find myself today in the invidious position of being very sad without knowing precisely why. Am I sad because my favorite baseball player knowingly used steroids or some other banned substance? Am I sad because he was dumb enough to put something in his body without knowing exactly what it contained? Or am I sad because he's the innocent victim of some horrible mistake, like a sample swap?

I don't know. And I'm made more sad by the very real possibility that I'll never know. Unless it was a sample mixup, and that sample still exists to be DNA tested, the chances are we will never know with any real certainty. We will be told things, conflicting statements from opposing sources. We will be offered evidence, perhaps. We will most likely be required to form opinions, make decisions, and then find a way to live with that seed of doubt.

We have read only the opening chapter of this story. This afternoon, Juan Rincón himself will add to it, by holding a press conference. The Twins organization has said little, but what is there to say? They cannot say they believe he is innocent, and risk being shamed by their own naivete should hard evidence of knowing culpability arise later. They cannot say they think him guilty, and risk being shamed by their own faithlessness should events conspire to exonerate him.

Some have already tried him and found him guilty, unable to conceive of any circumstance in which science might be flawed or incomplete. Some have tried him and found him innocent, incapable of believing that he might be so grievously flawed. I wish I could make my decision so easily--it would be a comfort to believe something, and be able to cling to it.

Last night I intended to spend the early evening writing. My hero is being presented with something of a conundrum, a vast variance between the official version of certain events and the story offered by an alternate source. He has an opportunity to learn some troubling truths about the effects of myth, slander and selective history on the world around him, and on his own assumptions and prejudices. But thinking about that led me to thinking about the story likely to unfold in the coming weeks, the cut-and-dried official version which in essence says, "a substance was found, therefore guilt is known", and the more human, less concrete, story Juan Rincón will probably tell us, about how a single test can be misled and misleading.

It is easier to accept the official version, backed as it is by science and carrying the weight of policy and administration. But the story that is recorded for posterity is not always correct, as my hero is learning. Sometimes the much-maligned villain was actually a decent guy who just made some mistakes, or worse yet, was punished for someone else's. Then again, sometimes a villain is a villain is a villain. And sometimes ballplayers take things they aren't supposed to.

It is terrible to me that an innocent man might be forever tarnished by an unproven, but compelling, accusation. It is terrible to me that a guilty man might be forever excused by an unprovable, but plausible, alibi. It is terrible to me that a sentence must be served before an appeal is heard.

I've said before that the MLB testing policy needs revision. I believe that now more strongly than ever. Before, I was concerned entirely with catching the guilty. Now I see clearly that the reputations and livelihood of the innocent (and, to a lesser extent, the merely foolish) must be protected as well. To that end, I propose:

1. All testing shall be done on blood samples, not on urine. (Some of the best steroids are not detectable in urine, and you bet your ass any "big name" guys who are using, are using those.) Any sample testing positive shall be immediately subjected to a DNA test. Substance testing results are not to be released or acted upon until player identity is verified through a genetic match. Samples testing positive are to be retained in cold storage until all appeals have been exhausted.



2. Penalties for verified positives are not to be imposed until an initial appeal has been heard. This first appeal will be heard within one week of the reporting of positive results to the player and his team. This serves to minimize both the time the guilty continue to play before serving their suspension, and the time the reputation of the innocent is called into question. A second appeal may be filed after commencement of suspension. Full transcripts of all appeals will be made public within three days of the hearing.



3. Positive results will be reported directly and simultaneously to the commissioner's office, the player, his agent and his team, by the lab. There will thus be no question that positive results for marquee players may have been suppressed by the commissioner to preserve the good name of baseball; this good name will be best preserved by a transparent testing system.



4. Annual testing will be done at a rate of 140%. To wit, all players shall be tested at least once per season, at random intervals and without prior notice, and a further 40% will be subjects of additional random testing. Spring training is considered part of the season for testing purposes.



5. A first offense which stands after appeal will be punished with suspension and substance abuse counseling. A second offense which stands after appeal will be punished with suspension, substance abuse counseling, and ineligibility for postseason play for five seasons. A third offense which stands after appeal will be punished with immediate and permanent removal from the MLB and all its affiliate organizations and ineligibility for the Hall of Fame.
   

For baseball to be a truly clean game, everyone must be tested. Every user (famous or obscure) must caught, punished and treated. Every mistake must be corrected openly and swiftly.

We, as fans, deserve a clean game. We deserve to know the name of every steroid user. We deserve the opportunity to forgive or not forgive, as we choose. We deserve to know, with as much absolute certainty as is possible in human matters, whether our favorite player is innocent, guilty, or just stupid.

Because doubt is infinitely more corrosive than knowledge.

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Say It Ain't So, Juan

Twins' Rincon suspended; drug violation alleged:
Minnesota Twins pitcher Juan Rincon was suspended for 10 days Monday, making him the fifth player suspended under Major League Baseball's new policy on performance-enhancing drugs.
Rincon was a key contributor to the Twins' AL Central-winning team last season. He went 11-6 with two saves and a 2.63 ERA in 77 games. This year, he was 2-1 with a 2.25 ERA in 12 appearances.

Twins' pitcher Rincon suspended 10 days
The Office of the Commissioner of Baseball today announced that Juan Rincon of the Minnesota Twins has been suspended for 10 days, effective today, for violation of Major League Baseball's Joint Drug Prevention and Treatment Program

Oh, Juan. No.

Not you. Not that.

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Update, 12:45 pm:
Juan is filing a greivance, which basically amounts to saying "Hell no I did NOT do that!".

FOXSports.com - MLB- Twins pitcher gets 10-game suspension:
Rincon's agent, Ed Setlik, said a grievance was planned. But unlike other penalties, suspensions under this policy take effect immediately and are not delayed pending a hearing.
'Suffice it to say, he was devastated and stunned by the result,' Setlik said after speaking with Rincon.

No word yet on when the grievance will be heard.

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