Reasons We As a Society Are Doomed, #467

It's not the criminal this time...it's the "justice system."

Judge Sentences Man To 60 Days For Sexual Assault On Girl

BURLINGTON, Vt. -- A Williston man who admitted to repeatedly raping a young girl will spend two months behind bars.

Mark Hulett, 34, will spend 60 days in prison for sexually assaulting a 10-year-old girl for the last four years. [TBL sez: Shoot him. Shoot him NOW.]

When he pleaded guilty in August to two counts of aggravated sexual assault and one charge of lewd and lascivious conduct with a child, Hulett faced up to life in prison on the charges. But the state Corrections Department determined that Hulett was a low risk for committing a similar crime, and determined it would not offer sex-offender treatment while he was in prison.

Judge Edward Cashman defended his sentence, saying it was the only way to provide counseling for the Hulett. Cashman's sentence could incarcerate Hulett for the rest of his life if he fails to obtain counseling once he is freed in 60 days.

The victim's family said the sentence is just a slap on the wrist.

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Peeved

We all have pet peeves--things we objectively acknowledge as trivial but which, in practice, drive us absolutely barmy.

Here's one of mine: I work in a modern office building, less than ten years old and fully ADA compliant. This means that every door is equipped with a pressure plate embossed with the standard disability icon. Press the plate and--ta-da!--the door opens.

And every single day I see multiple people who appear to be perfectly healthy and whose hands are not, in fact, entirely occupied, using said pressure plates.

Now, I recognize that some small percentage of these people could conceivably suffer from a wrist, elbow or shoulder condition which renders them incapable of either pushing or pulling a 5-pound door. But in general I think it highly unlikely.

And whenever I see this, I just want to run up, grab them by the shoulders, give them a good shake and say "How lazy are you?! Just open the damn door yourself! Would it kill you to expend that one-twentieth of a calorie?!?!"

It's the laziness that gets me. I'm not the most active person in the world, as the deepening layer of dust on my elliptcal machine will attest, but I open my own friggin' doors. And I really don't think that anything with the disability icon on it should be used mostly for the convenience of the able-bodied. Call me old-fashioned, I don't know.

Anyway, that's my peeve. One of them.

So, what's yours?

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2006 Preview - Overview

Believe it or not, I finally got all my holiday knitting done. (More on that another day.) The upshot is, there is now time to blog again. Oh, and guess what? The entire world is closed today, except for my company. That's right--you're probably still in your PJs, but I'm blogging on my lunch break. %$&#!

For anyone who might have been expecting a new year's resolutions post, I looked back and discovered that, of all the resolutions I made for 2005, I kept none. At least I'm consistent. It also saves me valuable thinking time--why come up with new resolutions when I have a list of perfectly good ones still waiting to be completed?

The Twins last 2005 game was October 2nd. Their first 2006 game will be April 4th. That makes tomorrow, to all intents and purposes, the midpoint of the offseason. The No-Star Break, if you will. (Those of you making cracks about that phrase describing last season can just zip it, thanks.)

So, what's new for the Twins in 2006?

1. The New Steroid Policy
TBL is more or less content with the new steroid policy, which adds amphetamines to the list of banned substances and increases penalties from 10 days to 50, 30 to half a season, and 60 days to "life", by which they mean two years.

How does this affect the Twins? Well, one hopes it doesn't. But if, for example, my beloved Juan were to get busted again, half a season should just barely be enough time for him to extricate my foot from his ass, providing Batgirl doesn't get to him first.


2. Whole New Infield
Well, partly. Let's jog around the diamond and see who we find.

Making his second full-season appearance at catcher will be the baby Jesus Joe Mauer. Verily, the catcher can do no wrong.

Justin Morneau is still our first baseman. Rumor has it he's drinking a gallon of orange juice a day to avoid a repeat of last offseason--apparently he didn't like being called Typhoid Mary all year. Moving on...

We, my friends, have gotten ourselves an honest-to-gosh second baseman in the person of Luis Castillo. Look upon his stats, ye mighty, and weep...with joy.

At short we find Jason Bartlett. No, wait, it's Juan Castro. Or maybe it's Nick Punto. So, same shortstop as last year. Glad that's been cleared up.

At third base, we have someone who not only likes to hit the ball over the fence a lot, but also might actually know what that leather thing on the end of his arm is for. Indeed, Terry Ryan went all the way to Japan to get us Tony Batista.

Now you may ask: TBL, doesn't it make you just a smidge nervous that his Japanese team, for which he had only played one year of a two-year, $15 million contract, released him outright shortly before this signing? My answer is: No. No, not in the slightest. I have complete faith in both Mr. Ryan and the excellent Irish whiskey I hide in my desk have at home, far, far away from work.

(TBL does, however, wish to remind Mr. Ryan that Toronto is making noises about unloading Corey Koskie. He's a lefty, Batista's a righty, and a platoon situation could keep him healthier. Whadda ya say?)


3. Right Field Vacancy
Hey, remember before we got Shannon Stewart, how we always had like five outfielders arm-wrestling for the day's start in right? Well, Jacque Jones bolted for the more lucrative confines of Wrigley Field, and no one's quite sure who's replacing him. Could be Kubel. Could be Cuddyer. Could be Ford. Could be a surprise spring-training demigod. Hell, it could be the batboy.


4. Mommy, Look! Santa Brought Us A DH!
I liked Matt LeCroy, don't get me wrong. But I like a healthy Rondell White even better. He's battled injuries the last few seasons, but staying out of the field should cut those down nicely. Some guys bitch and moan about being taken off the field in the twilight years of their career, but I've heard a few interviews with White and he seems to have the very sane attitude that DH is a really good spot for a guy with an injury history, and if that's going to extend his career by a few seasons then it's just fine.


5. Enter Liriano
The Twins bought out the option on the contract of starter Joe Mays, opening a spot in the Twins rotation. This spot is Francisco "Santana Junior" Liriano's to lose. The Twins will be providing excess 2002-2004 homer hankies at the gate before his starts for those with a tendency to drool over nascent greatness.



I'll be picking some of these topics apart in greater detail as the latter half of the offseason progresses, but that's all for now.

Happy new year, and remember--the offseason does end. Eventually.

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Things I Have Learned Today

• If I owned a firearm, I would use it inappropriately.
• There is no rational reason to ban moderate alcohol use in the workplace.
• As the urgency level of a problem rises, the denseness of corporate beaurocracy increases commensurately.
• I am obviously not buying enough Powerball tickets.

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Long Time, No Post Miscellany

The Very Interesting But Poorly Scheduled Project ate the last two weeks of my life. I'm currently working on posts about the new steroid policy and the Twins hot stove rumors, but neither is ready yet. However, I do have a few bits and bobs to entertain you (and assure you I'm still alive and writing):

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I just started reading Stephanie Pearl-McPhee's new book, "Yarn Harlot: the Secret Life of a Knitter", but already I can tell that this woman and I would get along famously. Witness the following snippet from page five, regarding buying an awful lot of yarn at once.

"I wrestled my new yarn out of the shop (ignoring the stares of the new knitter over by the mohair who was buying a single ball of something blue and clearly thought I might be dangerous). Forcing the yarn through the door of the bus, trying to avoid whacking people with it, I decided it was worth it."

Been there. Done that. Whacked the people anyway.

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So lately, after acquiring a repetetive-stress injury to my right shoulder as the result of working on a computer way too much at work (the above-referenced VIBPSP) and at home (the novel, the blog--okay, not so much lately--and the email) and spending most of the rest of my time knitting holiday gifts (you guys are going to be seeing a LOT of knitting pictures in January, when they won't spoil the surprise), I've taken to working on the computer at home while standing up. It's more ergonomic, and way easier on the shoulder for some reason. I just toss a couple of phone books on the kitchen counter and plop the laptop on top of them. Instant standing desk.

And I really like it, especially because when I'm working on the novel I always have the MP3 player practically surgically attached to my ears, and I often find myself typing and dancing at the same time. Since I dance like most white girls--I have just enough rhythm to give myself delusions of adequacy--I'm sure I look utterly ridiculous, but there's something perfect about doing something you love while also dancing. That's simple happiness right there, folks. (And it's probably going to go a long way toward staving off "secretary's butt". You ladies with office jobs know what I'm talking about.)

But this also reminded me of something I saw on TV months ago. A guy who worked in an office and didn't exercise much and started getting pretty soft around the edges got this brilliant idea to build an entire office workstation onto a treadmill. You stand and walk at a moderate pace while working on your computer and talking on your office phone all day. You can even attach a printer and a fax to this thing. The whole setup will fit into a standard cubicle, and Inventor-Guy lost like 40 pounds just by using it for a year.

I WANT ONE.

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That's all for now. I have a scarf to start!

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Change Begins at Home

Don't forget to vote in your local elections today. Most polling places are open until 8:00, but some close at 7:00.

You can find your polling place, anywhere in the US, here.

Twin Cities area residents can find information on races and ballot initiatives here (use the MyVote area).

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2005: What Went Right

Okay, so 2005 as a season kind of sucked. And the "kind of" is probably unjustified. The pitching staff was great, but most days the Twins couldn't get a run across the plate if you took out the three bases in between.

Still, there were some positives, buried deep in the agonizing tide of ineptitude.

Carlos Silva
Can we say enough about this guy? Two years ago he's a decent middle reliever in the National League with two pitches to his name. He gets traded to the American League and thrown willy-nilly into the starting rotation, where he uses his satanic slider to induce an avalanche of double plays, while pitching almost three times the number of innings he had the previous year. He works with the pitching coach, slips a third pitch into his arsenal, and in his second year as a starter breaks a record that had stood for over a century--the fewest walks allowed per nine innings. That is no trivial record, my friends. That is utter mastery of the art of control.
(He also threw no wild pitches. Not one.)

Juan Rincón
He just keeps getting better. Did you know his ERA has declined every year he's been in the majors? It's true. He led the Twins staff with a 2.45 this season.

Joe Nathan
Our fearless closer (aka "Twitchy McXanax") came in second in the Twins ERA stakes at 2.70 while racking up 43 saves (wow!) and 94 strikeouts in 70 innings of work. He was also a loyal and frequent contributor to the growing pile of evidence that my maxim "Catchers and closers--they're all crazy" is, in fact, true.

Jesse Crain
I've got your Rookie of the Year, right here. Maybe not for the AL, but definitely for the Twins. 12-5 record. 2.71 ERA. 80 innings pitched. 31 of 42 inherited runners prevented from scoring. If he can get that walk rate down, and maybe try not to hit quite so many batters, he could be nigh-unstoppable.

Justin Morneau
Yes, you read that right. Yes, Justin ended the season with a .239 batting average. BUT.
But, he maintained a good SLG (.430) and OPS (.741), hit 22 homers despite the general lack of hitting, took 44 walks, and managed to get through the whole season despite bone spurs, a nasty concussion, pneumonia, pleurisy, chicken pox, appendicitis, minor surgery, spontaneous human combustion and absolutely no offseason training due to a combination of the preceding.
He also (and this is important) went from being an average first baseman to a pretty darn good one. I'm also noticing a distinct upward trend in his range factor. He's young, and he's only going to improve.

Joe Mauer
The only Twin who lived up to his potential at the plate. Calls a pretty good game, too. One of the best-hitting catchers in the AL, he led the team with 61 walks (!!) and a .372 OBP. He's a fair fielder and getting better at throwing runners out. He needs to watch those passed balls, though.

Luis Rodriguez
On the lamentably infrequent occasions L-Rod got to play, he almost inevitably impressed. He was flawless in the field at second and short (his only errors came at third, a position he rarely played in the minors) and steady at the plate, hitting .269 with doubles for 20% of his hits and a walk every 11 plate appearances. He also hit .375 with runners in scoring position (I leave it to you to decide for yourselves how meaningful that stat is), racking up 20 RBI in less than 200 at-bats. I could easily envision this guy as an everyday player. Don't we have an opening at second?

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