George Carlin, R.I.P.

 George Carlin, 1937-2008

This was a guy who turned brutal honesty into an art form.  He said what he thought, like it or not.  Nothing was taboo because he didn't believe in taboos.  He believed in putting it out there, and if it shocked people, then he figured they needed some shocking.  When we stuck our heads in the sand and said, "If I don't like it, it's not happening", he took the opportunity to sneak up and shoot us in the butt with a SuperSoaker full of ice water.
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"Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong."

"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."

"There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls."

"The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done'." 
 
"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."

"When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?"

"When you're born, you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front-row seat."

Carlin on the 1991 Persian Gulf War

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That's It Exactly

 TBL has been looking for a good analogy for the season to date, and today she found one.  (No points for guessing why this particular analogy came to her...)

Watching the Twins so far has been like leaving the office for the lunch hour on a nice sunny day and taking a long, invigorating walk through a picturesque area, in shoes that haven't properly broken in yet.

The comments are open.  Post  your analogy! 

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Is There a Doctor in the Stadium?

Darling readers, does it seem to you as though the Twins have been unusually injury-prone this season?  Because that is how it has seemed to TBL.  So many trips to the DL!  Not to mention those unofficial "out for a few days" situations that reduce bench options and frustrate the heck out of everyone.

So TBL decided to poke through the archives and see if this really is shaping up to be an injury-prone season.  She compiled the official injury list (trips to the DL) from April 1 through June 9th.  Weeding out 15-day designations that turned into 60-day--turned by June 9th, that is--this is what she found:

2001 
15-day - position players: 3
15-day - pitchers: 2
60-day - position players: 1
60-day - pitchers: 0
total injuries: 6

2002
15-day - position players: 4
15-day - pitchers: 3
60-day - position players: 0
60-day - pitchers: 1
total injuries: 8

2003
15-day - position players: 1
15-day - pitchers: 2
60-day - position players: 0
60-day - pitchers: 1
total injuries: 4

2004 (first season on Field Turf)
15-day - position players: 7
15-day - pitchers: 1
60-day - position players: 0
60-day - pitchers: 0
total injuries: 8

2005
15-day - position players: 3
15-day - pitchers: 1
60-day - position players: 0
60-day - pitchers: 0
total injuries: 4

2006
15-day - position players: 2
15-day - pitchers: 1
60-day - position players: 0
60-day - pitchers: 0
total injuries:  3

2007
15-day - position players: 4
15-day - pitchers: 2
60-day - position players: 0
60-day - pitchers: 1
total injuries: 7

2008
15-day - position players: 6
15-day - pitchers: 2
60-day - position players: 0
60-day - pitchers: 1
total injuries: 9
 
Well.  It's certainly high, but not vastly so.  One injury more than our worst starts previously, and TBL is mindful that those seasons (2002 and 2004) ended up being pretty darn special. 

Of course, what really matters is WHO goes on the DL, right?  Certainly the weeks-long loss of Michael Cuddyer hurt the Twins in April, the projected 2-month loss of Matt Tolbert hurts now, and the projected season-long loss of Pat Neshek is a constant, throbbing pain in the side of a shaky pitching staff.

TBL provides the following roll-call of this season's injured versus previous seasons' and leaves you to draw your own comparisons and conclusions.  Of course, she would just love to hear what those are...

2001
OF Torii Hunter, 15
LHP Mark Redman, 15
2B Jason Maxwell, 15
LHP Eddie Guardado, 15
OF Chad Allen, 15
1B/DH David Ortiz, 60

2002
2B Luis Rivas, 15
OF Brian Buchanan, 15
1B/DH David Ortiz, 15
3B Corey Koskie, 15
RHP Brad Radke, 15
RHP Brad Radke, 15
RHP Jack Cressend, 15
RHP Joe Mays, 60 

2003
RHP Mike Fetters, 15
IF Denny Hocking, 15
RHP Rick Reed, 15
RHP Mike Fetters, 60

2004
RHP Grant Balfour, 15
C Joe Mauer, 15
C Matthew LeCroy, 15
OF Torii Hunter, 15
IF Nick Punto, 15
3B Corey Koskie, 15
OF Shannon Stewart, 15
2B Luis Rivas, 15

2005
RHP Carlos Silva, 15
1B Justin Morneau, 15
2B Luis Rivas, 15
INF Nick Punto, 15

2006
DH Ruben Sierra, 15
OF Shannon Stewart, 15
RHP Matt Guerrier, 15

2007
INF Jeff Cirillo, 15
OF Rondell White, 15
C Joe Mauer, 15
OF Josh Rabe, 15
LHP Glen Perkins, 15
LHP Dennys Reyes, 15
RHP Jesse Crain, 60
 
2008
OF Michael Cuddyer, 15
RHP Kevin Slowey, 15
SS Adam Everett, 15
RHP Scott Baker, 15
INF Nick Punto, 15
INF Matt Tolbert, 15
INF Adam Everett, 15
INF Nick Punto, 15
LHP Pat Neshek, 60

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Arrr, That Be Hurtful

 From a story on CBS Sports comes what may well be the insult of the year in baseball:

"...the Pirates logo should have patches over both eyes."

(Unsure whether to giggle or wince, TBL managed both simultaneously.)

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Well, That Was Interesting...

Things You Don't See Every Day
(But Did Last Night):

- a two-run sac fly
- a triple by Jason "Fast Like Taffy" Kubel
- a drunk guy running onto the field during a game of no particular importance or notoriety
- an upper-deck Mauer homer
- a fan catching an opponent home run and NOT throwing it back (good for him!)

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Busy, busy, busy. Gads, dear readers, but TBL has been busy. She hardly knows where May went. Perhaps she left it on the bus one morning as she made her woozy, sleep-deprived way to the office. If anyone out there finds TBL's May, she will give you her July 4th tickets as a reward for its return.

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Avast! Thar Be Critters!

So, TBL has gone a wee bit wacko with the Critter knitting. Here we see Captain Jack Critter, terror of the end table. To make Cap'n Jack a reality, TBL had to figure out how to knit him a tricorn. Uncharacteristically, she wrote it down as she went! So...the pattern.

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Critter Tricorn
(probably suitable for any toy with a roundish head)

When making this for a Critter, use the same weight of yarn and needle size as you used for the Critter. When making it for other toys, calculate gauge and act accordingly. TBL used Wool Ease Worsted on size 6 (4.00 mm) needles.

abbreviations: M1p - make one purlwise (check here for a simple tutorial)

CO 6 st, join in round.

1. KFB around -- 12 st
2. (KFB, K1) around -- 18 st
3. (KFB, K2) around -- 24 st
4. K around
5. (KFB, K3) around -- 30 st
6. K around
7. (KFB, K4) around -- 36 st
8. K around
9. (KFB, K5) around -- 42 st
10. K around
12-16: (K1, P1) around
17: K around
18: (P1, M1p, P7) around --54 st
19: (P1, M1p, P8) around --60 st
20: P around
21: (P1, M1p, P7) around --66 st
22: (P1, M1p, P8) around --72 st
23: P around
24: (P1, M1p, P7) around --78 st
25: (P1, M1p, P8) around --84 st
26: P around
27: (P1, M1p, P7) around --90 st
28: (P1, M1p, P8) around --96 st
29: P around
30: K around
31: P around
32: K around

Bind off purlwise. Weave in ends. Using short lengths of same yarn or matching thread, tack brim to crown at three equidistant points. Place on Critter. Terrify nearby Critters.

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Sunday Catblogging

Aaahhh....sunbeam.

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