If I Were the GM

If I were the Twins' general manager (and there are a multitude of reasons why I'm not), I would have done a few things differently this last week or two. Judging by the wailing and gnashing of teeth on the Twins Fan Forum lately, I'm not alone. But just for the record...

If I were Terry Ryan, I would:

• not re-sign Luis Rivas unless I was pretty darn sure I could work a good trade involving him. Contrary to popular apocalyptic opinion, we're not all that short on infielders. We've got Morneau (1B), Cuddyer (2B), Punto (1B/2B/SS/3B), Ojeda (2B/SS/3B), Castro (2B/SS/3B), Bartlett (SS), Prieto (2B/SS/3B), Rodriguez (2B/SS) and Tiffee (3B). Throw in a veteran 3B, and we're golden!
• repeatedly beat Gardy upside the head for even suggesting that Cudderror be the starting third baseman next year.
• have signed Joe Randa to platoon at third with Terry Tiffee and/or Nick Punto.
• tell Gardy to move Stewart to DH, whether he likes it or not (he doesn't). The man has hamstring issues, let's be practical here--for his salary, we need him playing every day. We do that by keeping him out of the field. Hunter, Jones and Ford can man the outfield, with whichever of Restovich, Ryan or West has a better spring training as backup.
• make JC Romero pee in a cup. Daily. If he's on the juice, get him off of it. If he's not, send him to a shrink.
• be looking for another starter. Chances are either Lohse or Mays (and possibly both) will stink so badly in spring training that their presence in the rotation will not be tolerable. We need someone waiting to fill that hole, and JD Durbin definitely needs more seasoning before he's that guy.
• release LeCroy. The guy's got the ability to be a heavy hitter, but he needs to play every day to acheive his potential and he just won't get that chance here.
• eyeball the free-agent market on catchers. We've got no guarantees about Mauer's knee, after all.
• offer to take the Dodgers' place in the defunct three-way trade that would bring Randy Johnson to the Yankees, then pull out at the last minute. Have a video camera on Steinbrenner when he receives the news and sell copies of it on DVD to raise money for a new stadium.

Ah, if only...