George Carlin, 1937-2008
This was a guy who turned brutal honesty into an art form. He said what he thought, like it or not. Nothing was taboo because he didn't believe in taboos. He believed in putting it out there, and if it shocked people, then he figured they needed some shocking. When we stuck our heads in the sand and said, "If I don't like it, it's not happening", he took the opportunity to sneak up and shoot us in the butt with a SuperSoaker full of ice water.
"Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong."
"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."
"There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls."
"The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done'."
"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."
"When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?"
"When you're born, you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front-row seat."
Carlin on the 1991 Persian Gulf War