"Let us go forth a while, and get better air in our lungs. Let us leave our closed rooms...
The game of ball is glorious."

--Walt Whitman

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Game Re-Crap

In the first inning, the Twins scored two runs...but it would have been three, if not for Lew Ford's baserunning blunder. And then Boof Bonser coughed up two homers for three runs in the bottom of the inning...but that would have been only one run if Juan Castro (Free Jason Bartlett!) had handled Mauer's throw to catch Jose Lopez stealing with two outs.

The Twins started out the second inning with two singles, then failed to even advance the lead runner to third. In the bottom of the inning, Boof let loose his third homer of the night thus far, a two-run shot.

In the third, Torii Hunter decided that the third base coach's "STOP!" signals do not apply to him, and was thrown out by a mile at home. If he had listened to the man who is paid to make these decisions for him, the Twins would have had the bases loaded with one out. But at least Boof didn't surrender a dinger in the bottom of the inning.

In the fourth, Joe Mauer drove in a run. How 'bout that? And Boof didn't give up a tater.

In the fifth, TBL dozed off a little.

In the sixth, Willie Eyre (the only Twin who wears his socks the right way) gave up a single and an RBI double with two outs. He filled first by drilling a guy--oops--and was lifted for Dennys Reyes. This, in retrospect, turned out to be a big mistake. Because Dennys threw a ball, and then a strike. And the strike, it was like the strikes Boof Bonser threw early on. Which is to say, it went over the wall. Oops.

In the seventh, TBL dozed off again, and woke up...

...in the eighth, with two out, bases loaded and Michael Cuddyer at the plate. The Twins had scrounged up a run somehow (it was revealed this morning to have been a bases-loaded walk to Joe Mauer), and TBL made some sort of comment about how you could tie this thing up right now, Cuddy, and maybe there would be some forgetting about 2005 here in Casa Liberales. And sure enough, Cuddy launched the Balloon of Happiness with one mighty swing.

Not much happened until the bottom of the eleventh, when Jesse Crain (Free Pat Neshek!) faced Carl Everett with two outs, and Carl Everett introduced the Balloon of Happiness to the Blowgun of Reality.


Anybody got any duct tape?

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