An Open Letter to the Twins
Dear Twins,
Tonight, you lost to the Cleveland Native American Stereotypes by a score of 15-7. And now, a question for you:
Why must you crush TBL's soul?
SIX UNEARNED RUNS, boys. SIX! You can't blame all that on Punto, even though he made the error. At some point after an error, someone has to suck it up and get somebody out. Otherwise, innings go on forever and six unearned runs score. You see how that works?
Granted, even without the unearned runs, there would have been losing. But 9-7 sounds so much better, don't you think? It sounds like the losing team (YOU) might have actually had a prayer at some point in the whole endless, godforsaken game.
Also, why must you waste all the beautiful scoring on a game in which you at one point trailed by 12 runs? Save some for tomorrow! Silva, he gets twitchy without the run support, and now TBL is afraid you're all going to be swinging like sedated orangutans for the rest of the series. (Well, except for you, Justin. You are obviously en fuego, and TBL is loving it.)
What is TBL supposed to do with you all? If the pitching holds up, the hitting flops. If the hitting gets going, the pitching implodes. And the fielding, it has been not so good all year. Why must you do these things to your fans, who only want to adore you and cheer for you and thumb their noses at the Whine Sox? Why?
Just tell me that.
Longingly,
TBL
3 rejoinders:
Dear Twins: What is up with our pitching? Hmmm? How can we give up 9 runs in the first two innings?
So, Crain's problem has been a sore shoulder? That's why he has been pitcher poorly? Huh.
At the risk of sounding a bit callous, TBL speculates that the shoulder might be sore from throwing too many freakin' pitches all the time.
Go On, Spit It Out