"Let us go forth a while, and get better air in our lungs. Let us leave our closed rooms...
The game of ball is glorious."

--Walt Whitman

Thursday, May 17, 2007

The Unbearable Triteness of Sucking



Cleveland 15, Minnesota 7
Cleveland 7, Minnesota 1
Cleveland 2, Minnesota 0

For the second start in a row, Johan "Godlike" Santana went six innings or more, allowed two earned runs, and lost. Today, he also got a season high in strikeouts.

But that's not the worst of it. Oh, no. Over the three game series, the Twins flailed their way through 22 scoreless innings at bat. They badly lost a game in which they scored seven runs. The MVP got beaned, and no one retaliated. They lost a middle reliever to the DL, likely for the rest of the season. They posted a .217 batting average (despite the seven-run game) and a 6.75 ERA (which doesn't reflect the six unearned runs). Oh, and let's not forget the eleven walks they handed out, while taking only four.

And those are just the numbers. Numbers don't show you sloppy bunt attempts, negligent throws, or generalized incompetence. But the TV sure does. Actually, TBL is pretty sure that the sixth inning of Tuesday's game is permanently burned onto her retinas. Last night she woke up at three in the morning, clutching a very unhappy cat and screaming, "No, Jesse Crain! Don't leave that pitch up to Grady Sizemore!"

One can only hope that this, right here and now, is the darkest of darkness which is purported to come just before the dawn. Because if TBL doesn't get herself some dawn soon, she's going to get upset, and because of that she'll have a wee bit too much wine, which will cause her to write long, weepy letters to Jason Bartlett asking why can't he field anymore and why does he suck at bunting and where are his tall socks, and those splotchy, recriminating messages will upset him, and if the shortstop isn't happy ain't nobody happy, and no good can come of it, ever.



Next up: 3 games at Milwaukee. Our pitchers have to bat. Yeah, that'll help...

5/18, 7:05
Boof Bonser, RHP (1-1, 4.33) vs. Chris Capuano, LHP (5-1, 2.93)

5/19, 6:05
Scott Baker, RHP (0-0, -.--) vs. Dave Bush, RHP (3-3, 5.47)

5/20, 1:05
Ramon Ortiz, RHP (3-4, 4.89) vs. Claudio Vargas, RHP (3-0, 2.93)

2 rejoinders:

k-bro sounded off...

Dear TBL,

Our pitchers batting may not really help. But it can't really hurt, can it?

k-bro

Third Base Line sounded off...

No. No, it really can't. But it should. And that's what makes it all so darn pathetic. Cripes, Hamlet was more cheerful than this offense.