"Let us go forth a while, and get better air in our lungs. Let us leave our closed rooms...
The game of ball is glorious."

--Walt Whitman

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Staying In Touch

Rangers 1, Twins 7

Time for TBL to catch up on her correspondence.

Johan Santana
c/o Minnesota Twins
Minneapolis, MN

Dearest, darling Johan,

Oh, my. We all know you're usually en fuego, but last night? That was something special. Thirteen strikeouts! (Is it warm in here?) And run support! The boys actually gave you run support! After your last couple of starts, I was starting to think you had inherited the Curse of Radke. Glad to know that's not the case. And before that, I admit there were a few times I suspected your evil lookalike might have made a comeback. But luckily for all of us, you were just having a bad day.

In the midst of all the injuries and the imploding and the sucking, your en fuego-ness is an inspiration to us all. Except maybe Morneau, I can never tell what he's thinking. Darn stoics.


Justin Morneau
c/o Minnesota Twins
Minneapolis, MN

Dear Justin,

Two massive, towering homers and five RBI! Be still my beating heart. And this was your third multi-homer game of the season already. Some people actually think that smirking bastard Jeter should have won the MVP? Hah!

Truly, you are Canada's finest export.


P.S. You can crack a smile every now and again. It's okay. Really.

Kevin Slowey
c/o Rochester Red Wings
Rochester, NY

Dear Kevin,

Judging by your 1.76 ERA and the Twins ever-expanding disabled list, I think you're going to be needing this.


George Steinbrenner
c/o New York Yankees
Ninth Circle of Hell, Hades

Dear George,

I snicker in your general direction.


3 rejoinders:

Marci sounded off...

OMG, I totally called Morneau out on the smiling thing at an O's game last year...we were in the first row behind their dugout and even with a 7 run lead and a HR he was STILL not smiling--so I told him to quit it (because I could, I mean he was right there!). He grinned and smiled throughout the whole inning, we thought we broke him! But when he got the last out of that inning, he came back and tossed me the ball! So for that, I will always heart his non-smiling self forever.

Baseball_Lipgloss sounded off...

Love your letter to Steinbrenner. *cackles evilly*

Anonymous sounded off...

"I snicker in your general direction." Heh, so far this season no matter how bad the twins did, I can look at the yankees site and cheer my self up. :-)

And he might need one of these too.