Head for Tortuga, I Need to Check the Score

Last night's game wasn't televised, so I took the chance to get some more Pirates! action in. Gordo drives me (pardon my French) bugfucking crazy if I try to actively listen to him, so the computer game gave me something fun to do between score checks on the baseball game. That, and wild horses couldn't drag me away from the damn computer if I'm in the same room these days.

While I was repelling (and looting) a small Dutch invasion force in the Lesser Antilles, the Twins fired 4 rounds at the Giants. After loading up on provisions and hiring some new crew, I tuned in to find that the Giants had put a lone hole in the Twins' sails. I sank a few galleons, upgraded my cannon, and discovered that the Giants had evened it out by digging up three chests of Twins' treasure. Well, that made me a little mad, so I shot down the Spanish governor's ship instead of escoring it to San Juan like I was supposed to. I sailed into Port-de-Paix to get the holes in my hull patched only to be informed that the Giants had looted two Twin settlements in the fourth. I'll flay the scurvy dogs!

I went ashore and stole Stede Bonnet's buried treasure, which Lew Ford celebrated by firing a three-run volley over the fort walls to put the Twins up 7-6. Arr! Some galleons were sunk, a frigate was pillaged, and (to get the Spanish to stop firing on me from shore) some immigrants were escorted safely to Curacao. All was proceeding according to plan. Ah, but then while I was dancing with the governor of Eleuthera's daughter my dear, darling gunnery master Juan Rincón couldn't bring his long nines to bear and the Giants evened out the scales of war yet again. That's a week on half-rations for you, Juan!

Well, I defeated the evil Don Raymundo and sailed for Cumana to rescue my long-lost sister from captivity, but could the Twins save themselves? Gliding into Rio de la Hacha for further repairs (defeating evil Dons is hard on the sails), the tavernkeeper let slip that the dread pirate Nathan and his good ship the Fastball del Muerte had been sunk with all hands aboard, taking four holes astern and capsizing before the lifeboats could be launched. Shiver me timbers! Captain Mulholland and his frigate the Greybeard tried to save him, but ended up taking heavy damage instead. The Giants sailed westward with a hold full of Minnesota gold and the smoking ruins of what had been a fine fleet behind them.

Me? I've got a fleet of six ships, enough gold to start my own nation-state, one rescued sister, and a new evil Don to chase. Arrr!