Short Takes

Friday's game was exactly the sort of win we have come to expect from the Twins. A no-name pitcher made to look like Sandy Koufax by Twins hitters, an early lead blown in one big inning, a lone late run to tie, and a bloop RBI hit from a replacement player in extra innings to save the day.

It was fun the first dozen times, guys. Getting old now.


I didn't see much of the next two games, as I was out enjoying this brief part of the Minnesota summer which is warm and sunny but lacking the killer humidity of midsummer. What I did see/hear was brutal. Saturday the Twins offense once again brought limp noodles instead of bats, and Sunday Gordo jinxed Johan Santana into a loss.

See, whenever we've got a pitcher in a jam, or a hitter in a pressure situation, Gordo often comments on how long it's been since that player did the one thing that would totally ruin the current inning. And every f***ing time, the player does exactly that thing. Because Gordo isn't just the worst baseball commentator in the long, loooooong history of baseball radio, he's also an infallible jinx.

So Saturday, when Santana walked two in the seventh inning (courtesy of a home plate umpire suffering from the worst case of cranial rectitis I've ever witnessed, by the bye), and Gordo mentioned that he'd never walked three in a game, what do you think happened? That's right--Santana walked another, and then there's a three-run double, and the Twins still have the limp-noodle bats, and there's your ballgame.


And here's something to chew on. We were listening to the Saints game last night, and Saints radio commentator Kris Atteberry (who should stuff Gordo in a steamer trunk and steal his job) said:

"If you've got a man on third with one out and you can't bring that guy home, you don't deserve to be playing this game."

Hey, Kris, wanna host the next Twins team meeting?