"Let us go forth a while, and get better air in our lungs. Let us leave our closed rooms...
The game of ball is glorious."

--Walt Whitman

Saturday, April 30, 2005

Highlight Reel

The Dome isn't much of a place to watch baseball, but anywhere the Twins win against a pretty good team has its own beauty. And the Angels are a pretty good team. Leading the AL West, if memory serves. Some highlights and other memorable moments:

The garden burger from Grandstand Grill is pretty good. And, unlike everything else you can get at the Dome, it's not crusted with salt and/or dripping with grease.

Top 1st:
Miracles do happen. Radke pitches a scoreless first, despite giving up two hits, one to the leadoff hitter.

Bot 1st:
Morneau realizes he hasn't sent his mom anything lately, so he punches a homer all the way to British Columbia.

Top 3rd:
The Angels actually score a run, but it's not on Radke's head--it's unearned. Did they just put Radke's uniform on Joe Nathan? Nah, the fastball's not leaving re-entry trails, can't be him. Must actually be Radke. Cool.

Bot 3rd:
The Twins enter the Land of Sharply-Hit Balls. With one out, Stewart zings a single to right. Then Bartlett hits one so hard that, though the Angels shortstop and second baseman appeared from where I was sitting to both be touching the second base bag, the ball flew between them, emitting a small sonic boom over the base. Mauer hit one to the shortstop with such force that he, fielding it on a bounce, was driven backward a staggering step and was unable to throw anyone out. (Stewart scored on the play). And I don't know what first base coach Jerry White said to piss Morneau off, but those screaming foul balls Morneau shot at him didn't miss him by much.

Bot 4th:
Nick Punto legs out a stand-up triple in the time it takes most guys to just slide in under a tag for a double, or LeCroy to reach first.

Bot 5th:
With one out, Morneau hits one to the wall in right-center, and the Angels right and center fielders converge, tiptoeing after it like it's going to bite them. Morneau takes third on what I can only describe as defensive weirdness. (Is there a scoring notation for that? DW?) Then Hunter walked on four pitches, which just doesn't happen. Then Jones grounded into a double play, which does.

Seventh inning stretch:
Augh! They're playing that damn song! Where are my headphones?! MUST BLOCK OUT THE HORROR! I swear, if I die before Lee Greenwood, I am going to come back and haunt him until he ends up gibbering in a corner, peeing himself. He won't be so "proud to be an American" then, no sir.

Top 8th:
Juan Rincón, after a brief foray into Lohseland on Thursday, returned to his usual form. By which I mean: "You guys. Yeah, you with the bats. Sit down."

Top 9th:
Okay. So Orlando Cabrera is batting, right? And Joe Nathan is pitching. So Joe throws a 1-2 pitch and Orlando gives a mighty swing and what goes toward the mound is not the ball, but the bat, which lands right by Joe's feet. He bends and scoops like he's fielding a ball except there's nothing in his hand, but he straightens up anyway and underhands that handful of nothing toward first base. Morneau just stands there staring at him like he sprouted a second head or said that hockey sucks or something.

Catchers and closers, man. They're crazy. If it weren't for baseball, they'd be hanging out at bus stops talking to light posts.

Then again, the same thing's probably been said of me, a time or two.

4 rejoinders:

roger sounded off...

Hey, I like the Lee Greenwood song. How soon we all forget!

Third Base Line sounded off...

Oh, Roger. I haven't forgotten. I can remember quite well and still hate that damn song. ;)

frightwig sounded off...

I'm proud to be patriotic and also have a sense of good musical taste! I love my country and its ideals, but that song totally blows. Maybe I should write a song about that....

frightwig sounded off...
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